Sunday, March 2, 2014
Saturday, February 15, 2014
Thursday, February 6, 2014
Sunday, January 12, 2014
|12 January 2014, www.dftours.com.au|
It is often used for a cheap laugh after a topical joke fails. But the question remains how soon is too soon.
I was at Woolworths today in time to see the first arrival of Easter eggs, only 18 days after Christmas and 98 days before Easter. Some would argue that this is too soon. I say is it perfect as I can now have mince pies (also still on sale) and Easter eggs for dessert.
Why was Jesus born if not to die for us all? So who can begrudge retailers for encouraging us to celebrate is as soon as possible. Besides as soon as we kill him off again the sooner we can get to selling food and decorations ready for celebrating his birth.
As long as neither the Easter eggs nor their ingredients arrived in the Australia by boat as the Prime Minister Tony Abbott has declared boat arrivals as un-Christian.
When it comes to interpretive dance the world declared that 7 days is too soon for it to be included in a memorial service. Tamzanqa Jantjie provided his interpretation of the speeches at Mandela’s public memorial, deaf communities around the world signed foul describing his movements as gibberish.
One would argue it is always too soon for interpretive dance, regardless of the circumstance – international memorial or no.
20 weeks. That is all it took to prove that England cricket celebrated its 2013 Ashes victory too soon. England won the series 3-0 (though commentators will debate for generations to come that if not for the English weather Australia would have won the two drawn tests). 20 weeks later England had lost the ashes 5-0 in arguably the most one sided Ashes series ever.
Also in the sporting arena, New Zealand learned that being 8-0 up, and only one race win away from a famous victory, is too soon for celebration. In 2013, the Emirates Team New Zealand snatched defeat from the jaws of victory, eventually losing 9-8 to Oracle Team USA in the best of 15 sailing race.
Facebook relationship status updates are updated way too soon. A drunken party-pash or one night stand does not a relationship make. Despite this, the urge to tell the world is too strong for so many. Changing their status so quickly one questions if it was post or during the deed. One hand busy pleasuring the other busy posting.
You can always tell when the update was too soon as it will be follow up by another update it changes to “it’s complicated”. This change represents the time when the other person realises they have been linked online to a relationship they did not know existed to a person whose name they previously did not know.
The only person whose relationship status does actually change this quickly, according to the magazine covers, is Jennifer Anniston.
Monday, December 30, 2013
- DF Tours
So you got a new camera for Christmas but have no idea what to do if you switch it from auto to manual. Join a photographic walking tour exploring some of inner Melbourne’s most famous and infamous locations and a few hidden gems. The two hour tour is also an ideal way for tourists to start their exploration of the city.
Tours will cover many of the camera’s functions as well as composition techniques. Tours start from Federation Square. Day and night tours available as well as private bookings.
Remember the sheer joy you experienced bouncing on the bed as a child, well now you can relive that feeling without the fear of being yelled at by your parents. Bounce has over 50 interconnected trampolines on its floors and walls as well as a 5 foot deep foam pit. Lessons are available, join the dodge ball league or just go their and release you inner child.
Must be 110cm tall, for general sessions, junior jumper groups available. Bookings are essential
- Kayak Melbourne
Take a relaxing paddle down the Yarra River to see the sites of Melbourne CBD from a new perspective. No experience is necessary, kayaking provides an excellent opportunity to exercise and relax all at the same time. “Accidently” splashing each other is also a great way to cool down during the Australian summer.
A variety of tours are available of differing lengths. Day and night bookings available.
from $72 for 90min tour
- Cutler & Co
Fine dining without the pretence. Treat yourself!
Cutler & Co offer a la carte and degustation menus. For those on a tighter budget try their set Friday and Sunday lunch menus. The friendly atmosphere compliments the exquisite combinations of flavours of the food as perfectly as the wine selection.
Next door is the Supernormal Canteen, described as Cutler & Co’s experimental kitchen, is laid out like a casual dining café. Currently it is right next door to its parent restaurant in Fitzroy, but is cutting the apron strings and finding moving into its own place on Flinders Lane in March 2014.
$60/person Friday lunch
- Flying Trapeze
Remember sitting, eyes skyward, watching in awe as the men and women of the flying trapeze seemingly flew through the air? Here is your chance to do it for yourself. Classes teach basic techniques and even beginners will get the change to do a back flip and release in their first lesson. One off classes and term courses available.
Fly Trapeze also offers classes in a range of circus skills including acrobatics, tumbling and contortion. Stretch yourself, literally!
$89/2hr beginner class
- Kryal Castle
Kryal Castle offers jousting, knights, maidens, horses, torture, throne rooms and a hanging or two. Whilst the Kryal Castle experience is more A Knights Tale than Game of Thrones, this medieval theme park may just provide the escape from reality into Ye Olde times that is all the trend at the moment.
Sure the scenes might be a little cliché and the actors are not likely to win an Oscar® anytime soon. Recently renovated, Kryal castle is a full day’s activity for the whole family. Dinner shows and accommodation are also available
- Melbourne Star Observation Wheel
Originally opened in 2008, for 40 days, it has been under repair for 5 years and is now back in business. The wheel is 120m high and takes approximately 30 minutes to complete a full rotation. The “flight” gives visitors the opportunity for uninterrupted views of up to 40km over Melbourne and Port Phillip Bay.
Each cabin can hold up to 20 guests. Take your camera and practice the skills you learned with DF Tours.
from $19/child, $26/adult
- Melbourne International Comedy Festival
One of the worlds premiere comedy festivals, MICF attracts some of the biggest names in the business. The festival boasts over 300 acts performing in rooms all over the city. Go and see the international artists or the household names from Australian TV and radio, sure, but this is a festival. Festivals also offer an opportunity to explore something new.
Comedy comes in many genres and all of them will be on display, as well as the big names the festival is full of new comers and artists still learning their craft. There will be some hits and misses but it these acts that will provide the biggest comedic surprises of the festival. For every big act you see make sure you see an unknown.
- AFL ANZAC Day Match
AFL is the national sport and the ANZAC Day match is one of its biggest games. This is a chance to get the grand final atmosphere without the grand final price tag.
The game to see is at the MCG between Collingwood and Essendon after the ANZAC Day Parade. The media will provide the hyperbole comparing the “battle” of a game with the life and death struggle that was the landing at Gallipoli in World War II. Ignoring that and the fact that you may not follow either team or even understand the sport, there is nothing quite like 93,000 in full voice at the MCG. There is also nothing like the same crowd falling into complete silence in tribute to the fallen service men and women
- Melbourne Zoo
Melbourne Zoo boasts a large and exotic animal collection each housed in enclosures designed to replicate the animal’s native environment and encourage natural behaviours as much as possible.
The success of the Asian elephant breeding program and the regularity of the births is a good indication that they are doing something right. A highlight is watching and listening to the lions respond to the overhead p.a. system, defending their territory against announcements about seal performance times and lost children.
The zoo also has a large walk through exhibit of Australian native wildlife, perfect for international guests.
- D’Lish Fish & Chips at the Beach
Catch the 109 tram to Port Melbourne Beach, opposite the tram stop at the end of the line walk in to D’Lish Fish and order your, fish, chips, salads, dim sims the walk west along the beach to watch the sunset or east to watch the Spirit of Tasmania com into or leave dock.
Walk along the beach, to help the guilt of enjoying your meal settle, and soak in the Australian evening before returning for a deep fired Mars Bar for dessert. A simple indulgence that can be enjoyed all your round.
- Federation Square
This public access venue is in the heart of the Melbourne CBD, on the banks of the Yarra River directly opposite Flinders Street Station. Fed Sq hosts many free cultural events, exhibitions and festivals throughout the year, as well as showing major sporting events on the big screen – watch the Socceroos battle it out at the 2014 world cup with thousands of your newest and closest (at least in proximity) friends.
Numerous bars and cafes surround Fed Square and spill down onto the riverbank. Grab a drink or a bite to eat and then waste an hour or two people watching, or being entertained by the ever-present street performers.
- Federation Bells
A short walk along the banks of the Yarra will take visitors to Federation Bells in Birrarung marr. This collection of 39 upturned bells sitting atop poles ranging from 2 -6meters high are played 8am, 12.20pm and 5pm daily.
Federation Bells host live events throughout the year, often in conjunction with a Melbourne-based festival, where the bells are played live. The website also allows for budding musicians to compose music to be played on the bells.
- Last one
Comedian Jeff Green jokes that Melbourne has a café per head of population, and he may be right and the choices of venue are as countless as the quality prices and coffee styles. One that stands out is SheBeen, a fully licensed venue it not only sources free trade ingredients where-ever possible they donate the profits from each menu item back to the community from which the ingredients were sourced.
The service is relaxed and friendly, the quality is good, and it is wall-to-wall hipsters. Could any café be more Melbourne than this?